Selfishness and Regret
by Caitlyn-Michaelis
Summary: Would you sacrifice yourself for someone else's selfishness? That's what I used to ask myself before. But, after what's done, I come to realize that I would. But I'll never regret it, yet I always will. Lavi/Tyki - Yaoi, Lemon - Full summary inside.


**A/N: Well, I didn't really like this pairing, but this is my (very late) Christmas present to my friend Mikk, and since she loves this pairing… (and now I love it too, thank you .) so I hope you like it, Mikk, and everyone else that reads this too.**

**Title: Selfishness and Regret**  
**Pairing: **Lavi/Tyki  
**Summary: **_Would you sacrifice yourself for someone else's selfishness? I wouldn't._ That's what I used to ask myself before. But now, after what's done, I come to realize that I would. But maybe, deep down, it was for _my _selfishness also. And I will never regret it, yet I always will.  
**Warning: **I don't know if I did it, but there may be OOCness in this story.  
**Dedicated to: **My friend Mikk, because she is my sensei XD And this is her Christmas present, so…

**Selfishness and Regret  
**Lavi's POV

I sighed, entering to my tent of our last minute, improvised campsite. Kanda, Lenalee, Allen and I were sent out on a mission a few days ago, but we weren't making any progress. The three had gone out on separate ways to see if they could find anything, and they said that they wouldn't be back until late tomorrow. I put my hammer down and I lied down on my –also improvised, but awfully big and kinda comfy- sleeping bag. Believe me, after all the hopeless searching I had done today, this was heaven to me. I took off my scarf and threw it to a side, not really caring where it ended up.

I stared at the 'ceiling' for some minutes before I decided that sleeping alone in this tent was boring, since Allen and Kanda weren't around so I could bother them a little, so I took my hammer and went outside. I placed my hammer next to where I was going to lie down, and threw myself to the grass, looking up to the night sky. It had been a while since I had a moment like this; in peace, just staring at the stars, the night sky and clearing my mind. But this peace didn't last long, because I soon heard a noise from somewhere near. I quickly sat up and looked around, but I saw nothing. Then, I heard the sound again. My heart pounded as hard as it could when I saw who was walking towards the campsite.

"Tyki Mikk…" I said, standing up, reaching for my hammer.

"Don't worry, exorcist, I haven't come here to fight" he stated, still walking towards me.

"Still, I can't trust a Noah…" I replied, leaning on to the base of my hammer while he still got close. He stopped walking when he was standing approximately 20 feet from me. "What do you want?" I asked.

"Come on, Lavi. Don't be so cold to me…" he said, and I jumped a little when I noticed a difference in his way of speaking. He had used my name and his tone had changed.

"What do you want?" I asked again, not looking at him in his eyes, but I noticed he started walking again. As I switched my position to a defensive one, he put his hands up in front of his chest. "I am clean. Like I said, I didn't come here to fight…"

"Then why did you come? Just say it…" I questioned yet again. "You know full well why I came, Lavi"

"I don't know what you're talking about…" I said, looking to the side. He smirked. "That look on your face says otherwise"

"I deleted that side of my past, Tyki" I stated coldly, without looking at him.

"Really? Because it sure doesn't sound like it" he said, and I got startled when I noticed that he was already standing in front of me, holding my chin. I abruptly slapped his hand off.

"It's none of your business anyway, if I deleted it or not" I said, turning around. "If you came to bother me about this, please leave"

"Lavi, you can't just throw me aside. You know you've never forgotten about that… I haven't either…"

I let out a slightly audible gasp when he said this. The fact that he still thought about it shocked me. I felt a warm pair of arms surrounding my body, and his head leaning into my left shoulder.

"T-tyki…"

He turned my body around, and before I could protest, I felt his soft lips brush into mine. I blushed madly.

"W-what are you doing?" I demanded, trying to get out of his grasp. But I wasn't trying with all my might, because I knew that, deep down, I didn't want him to let go. Deep down, I wanted this as well. His warm arms were comforting, and his sweet smile was astonishing. "I'm doing what I've been wanting to do for a really long time, Lavi…" he said before leaning down to kiss my neck. This time, I didn't resist.

"Tyki…"

"You haven't really forgotten it, have you?" he asked. I was going to reply that I _had_ forgotten it, but there was a hint of sadness on his voice. "N-no…" I replied, blushing.

"…I'm glad" he said after a while, and looked at me.

"Tyki, we are enemies now. There's nothing or no one that can change that…" I said, trying to hold back a few tears that were threatening to fall down my face.

"We are both under our master's orders… but that doesn't mean that we can't see each other like this. The Earl and Bookman would never find out about this… just like no one else did back then…" Tyki said, leaning down and kissing my neck again.

"Tyki…" I tried to protest.

"Don't try to resist, Lavi…" Tyki said, moving up to my ear. "It wasn't easy to come all the way here to see you, you know?"

"I won't… resist…" I stated breathlessly. "I can't…"

Tyki smiled, but it soon turned into a smirk. He kissed me again, this time with an open mouth kiss, and I couldn't resist him at all. I kissed him back. Before I knew it, we had entered the tent. He pulled away, pushing me abruptly, which made me fall into the sleeping bag. Good thing that it was a really fluffy, or else that would've hurt like shit.

Tyki positioned himself on top of me, kneeling on my lap, surrounding me with his legs. He moved his hands to my head, taking off my headband. He didn't bother to try and take off my eye patch, because he knew that I wouldn't let him anyway. I sat up, putting my left hand behind his head and kissing him again. He smirked, and slipped his tongue on my mouth. I blushed, but I didn't mind this at all. The feeling of his tongue exploring my mouth was… breathtaking. My heart pounded as hard as it could, both from being nervous and anxious. I replied to his kiss as his tongue danced around with mine.

While still kissing me, he took off my coat and threw it to a side; he was now unbuttoning my shirt. He pulled away while finishing with the last button, only to remove my shirt and throw it aside as well. He looked at my chest, and I looked to a side, blushing.

"It's been so long since I've last seen it… and I hope it still belongs to me" he said, pushing me back so I was laying down. He bent down to my neck and started sucking on it. I started breathing a little heavier, but I was trying to resist moaning. I was trying to build up a wall, but I knew it would crumble down soon, so I had to resist as much as I could before it was demolished.

After getting tired of my neck, he went down to my chest, licking in between my aching nipples, as if trying to decide which way to go. He put his hands on my hips. My wall was already threatening to come down when I felt my pants get tighter. He, of course, noticed this (after all, he _was _sitting on my lap), so he moved his tongue to my right nipple and bit it. I shut my eyes closed, resisting the urge to moan. Tyki, though, seemed to notice my intentions, so he started slowly sucking at my nipple and licking it at the same time.

"Ngh…" it finally escaped, but this wasn't what Tyki was looking for. After a little while, he moved to the other nipple, licking my chest in the process. He didn't leave my right nipple unattended though. He moved his right hand and massaged it slightly, pinching it occasionally. I still refused to give him what he wanted; although I knew he would get it eventually. When he finished, he looked up to me. He kissed me again, although this time, it was just a peck, before I moved my hands up to his shirt and started unbuttoning it. He smirked as I removed it from him, admiring his bare chest. He sure had changed over the years… in a good way, though.

I touched his chest, moving my right hand from his neck down to his stomach, and I felt my throbbing manhood asking for attention. I blushed. He smirked. He slowly rocked his hips against me, obviously teasing me. I shut my eyes closed, looking away, and removed my hand from his chest.

When I thought _it _was going to get the attention it needed, he lay down on top of me, putting his head at mine's side, breathing in my scent.

"How I've missed this…" he whispered, and I blushed. I started sweating slightly. I was almost to the point where I was going to give myself attention. Tyki wasn't doing anything at all. I could sense he needed _attention _as well, but he seemed to be able to remain calm. It was killing me. He was teasing me by doing nothing, and it was annoying the hell out of me. He finally moved his upper body away from mine, only to peck my lips. He looked at me with a sweet smile, and then he started unbuttoning my pants. _Fina-fucking-lly._

He removed them and threw them away, and then he looked at it, smirking. "Hmm… whatever will we do about this, Lavi?" he asked. I looked to the side again. He bent down and licked the tip, which made me shudder from head to toe. Then, he came back up to meet my eyes. I was seriously getting irritated when he kissed me again, but I couldn't help but to arch my back when I felt him place his hand on my erected member, before grasping it and massaging it slightly.

"Ngh…" I muttered into the kiss. He teased the tip with his thumb, and then he started stroking it slightly, only to increase his pace slowly. That was it. My walls had broken down. "Aaah…" I moaned loudly, breaking the kiss, and Tyki smirked. He stroked it faster than before, teasing the tip occasionally, and I felt sudden jolts of energy and pleasure go up and down my spine. I arched my back a little more. "Aaah! Ngh!" I moaned again. It had been a while since I had been waiting for this. Even though he hadn't done much, I was about to come already. He kissed me again, stroking me as fast as he could, and I was repeatedly moaning into the kiss. I didn't care anymore. They were escaping all by themselves. It wasn't long before I came into his hand.

Tyki smirked. "Hmm? Already? But I'm far from finished…" Tyki said after pulling away from my lips. He put the hand that had previously been on my manhood in front of his face. It was dirty because of me. Tyki smirked before licking the tips of his index and heart finger. "Mmmm…" he said. I blushed madly. I was panting and sweating, and he smiled at seeing me like this. He sighed, teasingly. "I guess I'm gonna have to make you want me again, now, won't I?" he said. "But, I don't think that will be a problem…"

He proceeded to move his head back down to my right nipple. He started licking circles around it, and every time he was about to reach it, he got away from it and started the circles again. I shut my eyes closed. Tyki smiled. He finally reached my nipple, only to bite it with force. "Agh!" I protested.

Tyki smirked again once he felt my manhood getting erected again. I didn't even know that it was possible. He and moved his head down to it, licking the now dirty tip again. But this time, he took it into his mouth and started sucking on it.

"Aaah!" I moaned loudly at the sudden, unexpected contact. My right hand, by reflex, moved to his head, burying itself on his hair, as if telling him not to stop. While he kept sucking, he started licking it too.

"Ah! Aaah!" I moaned repeatedly, experiencing once again this ecstatic pleasure, and arching my back. He kept at it for some long seconds, when he suddenly stopped, but I couldn't stop panting. He called out my name, only for me to notice three fingers extended in front of my mouth. I opened my mouth and sucked them, licking every inch of them. After a few seconds, Tyki removed them, only to quickly insert one of them inside of me.

I grunted slightly. The feeling of having a finger inside me was a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time. Tyki didn't leave his mouth lingering, doing nothing. He leaned to my chest and licked my left nipple before inserting a second finger. I grunted again, this time louder, while Tyki sucked on my nipple. He moved his fingers around and moved his head up before inserting the third one.

"Agh-!" I cried out, but I was cut off by his lips trapping mine. He kissed me while he slowly moved his fingers inside me, in and out, trying to find that sweet spot, failing at the end; but that didn't stop him from moving them, and it didn't stop my moaning. Even now, with the walls I had built broken down, Tyki had yet to get what he wanted. I still hadn't given it to him. He finally removed his fingers from inside me, and I gasped at the sudden emptiness. I knew that he was, sooner or later, going to get what he wanted.

He pulled away from my lips and shifted our position, now being me the one who wrapped him with my legs. He put his hands at each side of me to support himself on the floor, and I moved my hands to his hips, knowing very well what he was about to do.

"_AAH!" _I cried out as I felt him slowly going inside me, but stopping for a couple of seconds to allow me to get used to the feeling. "G-go on…" I said, blushing as madly as ever, and he proceeded to move himself slowly inside me.

"Ngh! Aaah…" I moaned, embarrassed, since he was facing me. I closed my eyes shut yet again, sweating, panting and moaning loudly as he increased his pace. After about a minute, he was finally able to reach the 'sweet spot'.

"Tyki!" I moaned loudly, finally giving him what he wanted; what he had always wanted since the beginning. "Aaaah!" With every thrust, he kept hitting it, again and again, and I moaned in pleasure everytime he did. I couldn't help it. It was too much pleasure for me to bear. With every thrust I felt as if I went to heaven and back. He suddenly reduced his pace, going slowly, almost as if he was teasing me. "F-faster! Ngh…" I couldn't help but demanding to him. I moved my left hand to Tyki's back, clasping my fingernails on it. Tyki, again, increased his pace, going as fast as he could, hitting that 'sweet spot' again. "A-aah!" My member started throbbing again, letting me know that I was almost at my end. "Aaah! T-Tyki! Ngh!" I said, panting.

Tyki enjoyed looking at me like this; I knew he did. It was very embarrassing for me, but there was nothing I could do. My face was as red as ever, my body full of sweat, some streaks of hair plastered to my face thanks to the sweat, my eyes closed. Yet I knew he was looking at me with a half smirk, half smile. I gave a long moan as I, for the second time that night, finally reached my end. I felt Tyki reach his end inside of me as well, and he removed himself from inside of me only to collapse on top of me. Both panting, he took my lips into a sweet kiss before moving from my lap and throwing himself at my side.

"Lavi…" Tyki said, looking at me. I looked to the side.

"You always do this…" I said.

"Do what?" he asked me.

"You always take advantage of my weakness… of my feelings for you… and then you leave" I stated. He didn't say anything, and I felt some tears escape from my eyes. After realizing this, I turned over.

"Lavi…" Tyki said, wrapping his arm around me and hugging me tightly. "You know that it isn't what I want… _this _is what I want…"

"But it's something that can never happen. It didn't happen when we weren't enemies, and it surely won't happen now…"

"…Do you regret it?" he asked suddenly. I stayed quiet for a moment.

"…Never" I replied.

"_Would you sacrifice yourself for someone else's selfishness? I wouldn't."_ That's what I used to ask myself before. But now, after what's done, I come to realize that I would. But, being honest with myself, being really honest with myself, I knew that this wasn't a 'sacrifice'. And maybe, deep down, it was for _my _selfishness also. And I will never regret it, yet I always will…

"And, Tyki?"

"Yes?"

"My body… my heart… my soul… they still belong… and will forever belong to you…"

**A/N: Yes, in this story Lavi and Tyki had a past, but it was before Lavi 'joined' the order and before he found out that Tyki was a Noah (let's just say that he didn't know it before, okay?). And, hmm… I enjoyed making Lavi suffer XD Poor him. But I thought Tyki would probably do that, so… Did I pass, sensei? (Mikk XD) XD Anyway, please review and tell me what you think! :)**


End file.
